Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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