i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
