so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
I just googled if crying burns calories
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
Did you like my voicemail? Sounded like I was being murdered, right?
By a pack of ravenous dildos
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
Randomize
