I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
Randomize
