You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
Randomize
