I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
Randomize
