i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was like getting head from an anaconda
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
Why did my mother make you get naked?
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