I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
Randomize
