I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
I forgot how hot balto sounded
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
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