margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
