he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
Randomize
