escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
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