Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
