Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
Man, jail baloney is awful.
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
Randomize
