the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
is this the sara with the beer cane?
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
This baby is an asshole
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
Randomize
