you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
Randomize
