The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
Randomize
