so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
Randomize
