you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
You know why nobody comes up with Sober October? Other than it's Oktoberfest? Because Sober October doesn't benefit anyone, just like your judgment isn't benefiting me. I'll talk to you in November. Unless you make up another alcoholless month.
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
Terrible idea I love it
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
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