I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
