How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
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