ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
I pour the whiskey from now on
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
Randomize