I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
Randomize
