Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
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