New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
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