We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
Randomize
