I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
He was too drunk, and my mother and I ended up babysitting him. He told her I have amazing mouth skills, and that I love the "chorizo" he feeds me. All she said was "And on the list of 30 things you never want to hear about your daughter..." while gripping the steering wheel.Please just fucking kill me now.
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
Randomize
