I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
is that a dick in a sweater?
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
I was not drunk enough for that final.
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
Randomize
