I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
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IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
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I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
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