when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
I went 670% over budget on my vacation. My accountant would flip if he weren't me.
How the fuck do you have so much free time?
Polyphasic sleep schedule.
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
Randomize
