Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
where does the pee come out of this thing
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
