You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
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