Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
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