I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
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