She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
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