I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
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