U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
