I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Randomize
