i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
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