He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
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I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
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I wish drunk me came with subtitles
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
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