how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
Randomize
