You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Randomize
