I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
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