I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
Randomize
