i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
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