i jhust puked up my retainher.
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Randomize
