i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
Randomize
