one two three fourrrrnication!
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
I think I just sharted jello shots
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
Randomize
