I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
38 yer olds are good kisserssss
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
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