gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
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