sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
Blood and glitter go together right?
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
Randomize
