dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
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