Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
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