Im at a strip club, and the dancer just farted into my face. The bad part about that is I could taste the wings I bought her earlier
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
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