Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
