Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
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Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
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